Marriage is no picnic. You and your partner may be living together unmarried even for years. However, marriage is completely different from that lifestyle. Marriage is a commitment. Marriage is the final frontier to merge two souls into one flesh.
Every couple wants their marriage to be long-lasting, memorable, and meaningful. Unfortunately, conflict, disagreement sometimes get in the way of marriage journey and ruin relationships. As the divorce rates are climbing higher every year; counselors, therapists, and psychologists are failing to provide a fix for it.
When entering into a serious relationship or marriage, it takes combined efforts to get along what most couples do not realize. Couples often ask therapists what the magic formula is for catalyzing a successful relationship. More often than not failed communication and prior understanding of expectations are responsible for a botched up the marriage.
When two persons, two hearts, two minds come together, there is bound to be sources of conflict and friction. Reconciling the differences, mapping out post-wedding plans create a firm foundation for a solid relationship. Discussing goals, designing plans will give you a clear set of paths to follow. If you do not hold those discussions before marriage, you will have to later on.
In this article, I compiled a list of questions that you should ask before getting married. I consulted with several couple counselors, and therapists to discover with what points couples tend to disaccord, and listed them as a sequence of outlining issues.
- Relationship History – Have you ever been deeply insecure within in a relationship? What catalyzed your fear? What is the longest relationship you have ever been in? How long did it last? Why was it ended? Have you ever been engaged to be married, yet didn’t tie the knot?
- Sex – What kind of sexual activities do you prefer? If your partner initiates sex, do you feel comfortable with it? If yes, why? If no, why? How often do you expect sex?
- Debt – Will you help your partner settle his/her debt? Do you have significant debts? If so, how are you going to pay them off?
- Health – How would you describe the current status of your health? Do you consider taking care of your own physical and mental is a part of honoring marriage vows? Do you smoke?
- Appearance – How do you measure your spouse’s appearance? Do you have a particular physical type that you consider when choosing your partner? How much money do you spend on fashion needs, clothing, shoes, etc?
- Children – Do you want them? When do you want your first? How many children do you want? Would you consider adopting, or fertility treatment if you fail to conceive naturally?
- Location – Do you prefer urban, suburban or rural settings? What do you consider energizing, and inspiring in your home? Did home styles influence a break-up decision? How would you rank your location preferences? Would you persuade your family to move with you if you have a location preference?
- Work – Are you satisfied with your employment? How many hours a day do you work? What kind of job would you like to be employed in? Have you ever been fired?
- Religion – how important is that your partner follow your faith? Would you persuade your partner to share your faith? If you plan to have kids, what religion would you raise them in?
- Bank accounts – would you share your bank account with your partner? Do you have an emergency fund? How would you afford household expenses if your partner is fired or chooses to stay home to raise the kids?
- Family relationship – Are you close to your family? Do you have any conflict with your cousins or parents? How would you maintain your relationship with in-laws?
- Friends – Do you have a best friend? Would you skip the family meeting to have lunch/dinner with your friend? Is it important that you and your partner have a common friend or family friend? Did your friends influence your breakup decision?
- Politics – Are you involved with a political party? Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservative? Would you participate in social activities? What political issues would you like to talk about?